after 9 and half months, we start to see, understand about the past, present and future.
i have a happy go lucky life when i was young. during the teenage year, i was abit rebelious. went to polytechnic but did not study well. things started to go "real" when i entered the national service in 9th june 1999.
all of the Charlie Company enlistees (200) were either A-level or Diploma holders. i was one among the 4 that does not have the qualification. i strived hard to be a best recuit in order to get me into OCS (officer cadet school). things went wrong. i was not chosen dispite of my performance. looking at those that did worst, did sabotage, did no pull-ups, did no understand a thing about military, they are chosen to be in OCS. i was dissappointed.
after NS, i was very serious about my work, unlike in my poly days where i treated daily life like luck. i knew the work is my future. work mates join and quit the company. i was one of them in the end. through out my journey in this company, i worked real hard. there is always something pulling my leg for the next step in the company. as promised by the management, they wanted to put me on the next department where they knew that i am strongly intrested in but i waited and waited for almost 5 years, nothing happened. maybe, working for a relative is hard as they see you as a junior, forever in their eyes as they had seen me since my birth. what ever i did was not correct. what ever i did they have something to say. what ever i did and others did and i am in the wrong! what makes an apprciation of our presence in a company is the pay. i had "side info" about everybody"s pay in the company. those that joint later but had a certificate in the field had a higher pay regardless of performance. i the eye of the management, as long as the worker didnt give them any trouble is a good worker and the management need not have the worker to do extra for the company.
maybe i was like a bull, working hard but not working smart.
i remembered on my last day, i had alot to say to everybody including the management, to say thank you but im "blank" to everybody. i rode my bike off with tears in my eyes saying a hard goodbye in my heart when the wheel roll off the gate. i had put in so much love and effort for this relationship to work but i wasnt appricated.
2001 dec $1200
2002 feb $1400
2002 july $1500
2004 june $1850
2006 july $2010
2006 august $0.00 -*-*-*- i left the company.
seeing my work mates, had joined later had more pay, more incentive, company car and position upgraded, i became suspecious about myself.
is there something wrong with me? well, i must say that this company is a perfect company to work as i have the best work mates, good teaching superiors/managers and customers became good friend of mine. so, its my problem (they think), not the company.
i am not blaming anybody.
i am not pointing fingers.
i am not jelous.
i am just not being apprciated.
sometimes i when i am traveling, i email back to singapore to friends enquire about hows the company. i try to contact people in the company but they seems ignoring my mail. is the management cutting their contact with me? why?
is it because my dad still owe the management SGD$80000.00?
i dont care! i dont think that my boss is that kind of person that put family issues into work.
im real upset.