It is a fair world, for who?

This is posting number 241.

We were overwhelmed by friends, relatives and well wishers that came to welcome us on Sunday. The excitement made us stayed awake till 2am and back into our 3 room flat where everything looked so familiar.

Most of the time we spend these few days were to meet up with different groups of relative and close friends. We had so much to talk about since we had not met each other for the past 31 months. Sam and I were interested to know about them, their current situation and upon seeing them healthily, we were very glad. They were interested in how we manage our journey along the way, digesting our stories and keen to know what were our plans upon reaching home.

We just came back from Queenstown, where my nanny was. She took care of me when I was young and the whole family treated me and my sister like their own children. My nanny’s children were much older than me and they looked after me like their blood brother. Since young, they had guided me to the correct way and had always shown love and concern to me.

I was very blessed,
I was very lucky,
to have them around in my life.

They were always giving me hope when I was lost,
they were always giving me light when I couldn’t see,
they were the ones that always had a room in my heart.

So we took a train to Queenstown, went to her apartment and the moment that we had longed for finally came.

I addressed my nanny as mother, which was pronounced in a mix slang of English and Mandarin. Mother had always looked young, flawless, kind and cheerful in her face. We spend our time chatting with mother and Sister Amy. Sam and I were so excited to share our experience with her and wanted to find out more about the other brothers and sisters. We had much laughter and joy.

I was happy when I saw AL coming at the door. AL was mother’s son in law, to elaborate more, AL was the husband of Sister LH and they lived just a few steps away. After AL and Sister LH got married, they had always chosen to stay very near to mother.

We greeted each other then I realized that AL was quite busy. Without speaking more than greetings, he took a bag from the table and left.

That was very unusual.

AL came alone, did not spoke much and left.

I looked at mother and asked her why AL left in a hurry. Her eyes were telling me something. She spoke to me in a soft but clear tone:

‘Sister LH was sick.’

I lost my breath. I knew it was something very serious as 10 years ago LH had just fully recovered from a mild stroke when she was in her 30’s.

I stood up from the couch walked to the kitchen, trying to hide my tears and emotion away from everyone. It took me quite a while to recover. I went back to the couch without letting them seeing tears on my face. It took me some time and courage to ask mother what had happened to Sister LH.

I tried to be strong and I must be strong.

Knowing the current situation of Sister LH health condition from mother had made me fell off. Within 2 seconds, the memories I had from Sister LH suddenly came flashing in a very quick slide show into my mind. I couldn’t help it and busted my tears in front of mother.

Sister LH was diagnosed with a 4th stage stomach cancer and she’s in her 40’s.

Sister LH had not done anything bad or evil in her life. She had inherited a lot of compassion, kindness and sympathy character from mother any why would it be so unfair to her?

Don’t tell me that she had done bad things in her previous life and had Khama,
Don’t tell me that God is trying to give her a challenge to make her stronger,
Don’t tell me all these of nonsense.

We see beastly murderers getting away from court with the help of good lawyer. Why didn’t these murderers recived punishment?

Don’t tell me they will have the punishment in their next life or yet to come.
Don’t tell me they will suffer in hell when they die.
Don’t tell me all these nonsense.

Why would a kind and lovely person like Sister LH suffer?

It’s unfair?

I couldn’t take it.

Mother was strong in her tone and looks when she told me about this. She just lost her husband a year ago and now her daughter is suffering from cancer.

I wanted to see Sister LH right at that moment but I couldn’t because I would never not have my tears pouring in front of her. I will make her feel worst.

Sister Amy encouraged me to give her a SMS but i do not know what to say.

I spend my last few minutes in the couch looking at the family portrait that was displayed in front me.

I need to go.

My tears had made mother wiped her eyes too. My tears couldn’t stop until now, at this moment of writing this post.

I need some time off from everything.

My dear friends, if you are reading this, please turn around and have a look at your loved ones.

I’m sorry, I just couldn’t write anymore…

Please help me pray for my loved ones: Sister LH and mother.